Pooped

Today I was pooped on. And pee dripped on my head.
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There are old dogs living in my house.
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And it is very, very, extremely, brutally cold outside.
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There is also a young dog living in my house.
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I told my Mom on the phone today that the weather needed to break because these dogs needed to go outside. She suggested that I put them on leashes and walk them around outside. She misunderstood. I need these dogs to go outside. Away from me. And burn off some of their craziness.
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So I had a brilliant idea. I cleared the floor from the living room into the kitchen. Put them out for a quick potty break. And we settled in for a nice little game of catch. Three different toys. Three dogs with different abilities and needs and I'm managing the whole thing pretty well. They are running around burning some energy.
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River comes in too quickly and I can't get Maggie out of the way. Mags gets knocked over. Maggie's legs splay out and she can't get them under her. I grab her and lift like we do...holding on a little until she gets her feet back.
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And she poops on me.
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And I thought it was funny. And smelly and so disgusting. And funny.
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It's like living with a couple little old ladies. With poor bladder and bowel control.
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Earlier today I was in the basement with my new fab washing machine...you know, washin stuff. And something dripped from the ceiling. On my head.
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Oh great, I think...I must have a leak in the kitchen. Up I go. Clear out under the sink. Dry.
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So I go back down identify exactly where the leak is...come back up and see that the 'leak' was a puddle in the dining room. Pee. On my head.
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This is why we have a roll of paper towels and clorox wipes in the kitchen.
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And why I take a lot of showers.
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(Now if you are one of those folks who doesn't have pets in your home or think that I should not tolerate these lovely old dogs in their golden days...please keep your thoughts to yourself. My dogs aren't poopin' in your house)