Thursday, December 09, 2010

Blogger Has HiJacked My Google Account

I have a new blog http://www.testthisis.wordpress.com.
When I comment on a blog it directs you here...but I'm actually over there.

Thursday, July 08, 2010

http://testthisis.wordpress.com/

Look for me here....

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Poop

(I'm going to talk about poop...if such things make you squeamish move along) This darling girl here...POOPS IN MY HOUSE...A LOT!!!!

And it's wearing thin with me.

I'm all about loving them in their golden years. Creating a comfortable world for them. Feeding, petting, loving...you know, all that crap.

I asked Kim on the phone the other day, when she was also complaining about poop...or barking. Her pug Bobo is about a year older than my old ladies. I asked her, "Can you remember when they were young and cute and fun?". Yeah, me neither.

Actually I can. I remember hours of frisbee, the longest walks at the dog park, the day she swam out in the river chasing the really big goose and the day she chased my Dad's cow through the fence and went nose to nose with a HUGE bull. She had spunk.

The thing is she's still spunky. She doesn't have any trouble getting around, has no medical problems, she's funny, likes to have her ears rubbed, takes her treat into Amanda's room before she eats it. It's not the time. That time...we all know what I'm refering to.

But I can't stand the poop.

We can't leave her out because she barks. Just enough to make us, and the neighbors, want to shoot her.

I'm thinking diapers.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Sad But True

I haven't posted anything in almost a month and this is all you get.
Two of my favorite things....

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Cattle Tag Anyone?

Alright.
.
I'm going to change the names to protect the innocent (stupid people...not really so innocent) and also not to get my arse in a sling for talking about work on the Internet.
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We had some weird calls on a recent shift. Some days are just like that.
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Call one. Dirty house. One of those you want to shower and change your clothes after. Complicated pregnancy, overly dramatic symptoms with a story that changed enroute...hot...to the hospital. Hospital not patient friendly. Weird...I don't think her water broke...I think she wet her pants.
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Call two. Mother with 3 kids. Kid 5 yrs old has flu symptoms. The kind that the only thing to do is hold her and try to keep her hydrated. Kid wants to go to the hospital. So mom calls ambulance and they get a ride to a local hospital.
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Call three. Prank phone calls. Have to send fire truck to investigate due to certain verbiage used. Dad yells at us that the neighbor kids are hoodlums. And that there are no kids at his house...all the while...four little girls are standing behind him flipping us the middle finger.
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Call four. Chest pain. Pain scale of 9. Pain so bad that it woke him from a sound sleep. I'm getting info from very anxious girlfriend who says, over and over, "I'm so scared. We were having sex. I'm so scared. We were having sex." We get to the ambulance and patient continues with story of being awakened from a sound sleep. I write large on piece of paper. "They were having sex" and hold it up for the EMS guys to see. Turns out pain was being caused by a bad chest cold. It wasn't the sex at all.
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Call five. Vehicle fire. Pickup truck. Burning on the front end and the back end. No fire in the engine compartment. No fire in the passenger compartment. No fire in the inside of the bed cover. It looked like someone had poured something flammable on the truck and lit it on fire. At 5 in the morning. Don't criminals sleep?
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At 4:15am when we returned from call 4...I know I shoulda just made some coffee and been up for the day. Tossing and turning for 45 minutes until we caught the car fire just made me grumpy.
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At shift change we were talking about our runs with the oncoming crew. We got to brainstorming ways to identify stupid people who call ambulances or fire trucks and shouldn't. Joe suggested cattle tags. Every time you call 911 for a dumb reason you get tagged on the ear and have to wear it for 90 days. Kind of a "I was a dumb ass and called 911" scarlet letter.
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I think I like it.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

My Funny Valentines




Did they get me anything?
Nope...

Friday, February 12, 2010

Hello....

"Um, yeah."
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"Lady walking harmlessly into the school across the street from my house..."
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"So, my dog. Yes, the one barking her fool head off. Yeah...her."
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"You see. She doesn't like when anyone walks...well, really, anywhere."
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"So if you...and all the other parents, students, teachers and various and assorted delivery persons...if you could refrain from walking. Refrain from walking anywhere near the school. Or really anywhere she can see."
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"Yeah, that would be great."
.
"I realize that it might make it difficult. It's a school after all."
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"And EVERYDAY, ALL DAY...there are people out walking around the school yard. And I realize that she's lived here for over a year."
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"But I don't think she's very smart."
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"Thank you."

Wednesday, February 03, 2010

DC Photos, Round One










Notice there in the middle.
Andrew at 7 1/2 is now as tall as Austin was at 10.
Yikes!

Monday, January 04, 2010

Pooped

Today I was pooped on. And pee dripped on my head.
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There are old dogs living in my house.
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And it is very, very, extremely, brutally cold outside.
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There is also a young dog living in my house.
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I told my Mom on the phone today that the weather needed to break because these dogs needed to go outside. She suggested that I put them on leashes and walk them around outside. She misunderstood. I need these dogs to go outside. Away from me. And burn off some of their craziness.
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So I had a brilliant idea. I cleared the floor from the living room into the kitchen. Put them out for a quick potty break. And we settled in for a nice little game of catch. Three different toys. Three dogs with different abilities and needs and I'm managing the whole thing pretty well. They are running around burning some energy.
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River comes in too quickly and I can't get Maggie out of the way. Mags gets knocked over. Maggie's legs splay out and she can't get them under her. I grab her and lift like we do...holding on a little until she gets her feet back.
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And she poops on me.
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And I thought it was funny. And smelly and so disgusting. And funny.
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It's like living with a couple little old ladies. With poor bladder and bowel control.
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Earlier today I was in the basement with my new fab washing machine...you know, washin stuff. And something dripped from the ceiling. On my head.
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Oh great, I think...I must have a leak in the kitchen. Up I go. Clear out under the sink. Dry.
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So I go back down identify exactly where the leak is...come back up and see that the 'leak' was a puddle in the dining room. Pee. On my head.
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This is why we have a roll of paper towels and clorox wipes in the kitchen.
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And why I take a lot of showers.
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(Now if you are one of those folks who doesn't have pets in your home or think that I should not tolerate these lovely old dogs in their golden days...please keep your thoughts to yourself. My dogs aren't poopin' in your house)

Elizabeth