If your dog eats an entire box of chocolate give them 3 teaspoons of hydrogen peroxide every 15 minutes until they throw up.
We are 15 minutes in...I'll let you know how long it takes.
PS-a cabinet with a door reachable only by standing half on the bed and half on the bedside table is apparently not a safe place to keep said chocolate. I asked the vet if I should ring her neck before or after she threw up. He thought maybe I should wait until after.